The Zombie Treadmill
Our biggest competition isn't others, it's ourselves
A few weeks after my book came out, I found myself in a dazed state. My focus was nonexistent. My mind was like scrambled eggs. It felt like I was like a zombie walking on a treadmill.
I was exhausted from the book signings, doing interviews and having conversations with people about my book. It was a whirlwind. The type of whirlwind that you’re glad eventually stops. It was more taxing mentally than I ever expected.
The bombardment of questions came like an avalanche.
What’s next?
What’s the next book about?
What’s the title of the next book?
How are you going to top this?
In mid-November, this pushed me into a state of doubt. And in looking back, I think a bit of depressive state.
After researching it further, post book launch depression is a thing authors experience. I now realize why.
From a professional achievement standpoint, how do I top writing a book? How do I compete against myself and beat that? What would I be able to do better than writing a book?
It’s a roller coaster of emotions after writing a book. They are an up and down roller coaster that’s forsure.
This isn’t to discourage anyone from writing a book. I’m very happy I did and would do it again. I just wasn’t fully prepared for what the feelings were like after.
Thanksgiving came at the perfect time. It provided a reset for myself. A season filled with words of thankfulness and gratitude helped.
It took me from a state where I felt like a zombie walking on a treadmill to someone who’s head was back up. I could see the direction I was walking again. I was back to walking with a sense of purpose and desire. My curiosity came back.
This rediscovery of direction, purpose and curiosity made me look back on this two week period and to 1) learn from it and 2) how can I write about my experience to help others? Here is what I learned.
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret from Bronnie Ware’s best selling book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Here is what she wrote about it.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
It’s hard but this needs to be at the forefront of our minds. We’re too often swayed by what others expect of us. Their opinions shape how we are and what we do. That isn’t how it should be. It is after all your decisions on what you do. What others think, doesn’t matter. It only matters what you think.
Living our lives to impress others. Keeping up with the Joneses. It’s real. I’ve seen it and lived it. Nobody worries about you as much as you do. Nobody is as impressed with your possessions as much as you are.
I was always worried about what others thought. When I was younger, it seemed everyone was my competition. I thought everyone viewed everything the same. Money was always the goal. It’s what everyone was striving for. It was like a race to see who could make the most money. Or so I thought. Life isn’t that. At least it shouldn’t be.
Operating this way feels like you’re a zombie on a treadmill to nowhere. You have no direction, purpose or curiosities. It’s unfulfilling and you’re living in a constant state of wanting more. It strips you of the true joys in life.
At times you may tend to fall back into that convoluted line of thinking. I know it happens because I’ve fought it. To help, I often refer back to this quote from Greg McKeown.
What if society encouraged us to reject what has been accurately described as doing things we detest, to buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like?
What brings you joy? Are you doing it? If not, why not? At the start of everyday, I ask myself this question to be sure that I always am.
Competition, like success is how you view it. What’s important to you, may not be important to me. A priority for me, may not be a priority for you. My focus might not be your focus. We can’t paint everyone with the same brush.
This brings me back to a post I wrote about success. Measuring Success: What is success to you? It’s entirely how you frame it for yourself. Success has no deadline, just as it has no definition.
Our biggest competition isn’t others, it’s ourselves. Your competition isn’t other people. Your competition is your procrastination. Your ego. The negative behavior you’re nurturing and your lack of creativity. In life, you’re competing against that, not others. You’re only competing against yourself.
The Coffee Table ☕
Nick Maggiulli had a great post on his favorite investment writing from 2023. My Favorite Investment Writing of 2023 I look forward to him doing this each year. These are all very good and worth reading. Some I have also shared throughout the year on Spilled Coffee.
I liked this piece from Emily Peck in Axios called, Americans haven’t been this happy at work since the 1980s. To think not that long ago all we heard was that nobody wanted to work. Now we actually have record low unemployment combined with record high satisfaction of workers. What a combo!
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