As I sat and watched my kids ice skate, I couldn’t help but think back a year ago. At this same ice rink, neither of them could stand up to skate. They were using skate trainers to get around the ice rink. My wife and I were spending our time trying to keep them upright and on the ice. Now a year later one is about to start competing in figure skating events and the other is playing hockey.
Think back to when you started anything that you became good at. How much of a challenge was it? How much did you struggle? How many times did you fail?
Once you start anything, it becomes easier each time you do it. The hardest part is actually starting to try something new. The fear of sucking, fear of failure and fear of not being any good prevents most from even trying. You’re afraid of trying because you’re afraid of failing. Just because people become adults doesn’t mean they should stop trying to do something new.
Success at anything is a progression. Conquering or mastering something is a process that takes time. Nobody is immediately the best and successful at something. It’s a build up. A build up that begins with acknowledging that it’s okay to suck at something.
Trying something new, acting on a goal or dream gives you permission to suck when you start. Improve, learn and get better.
Think of ice skating. When you fall, you get back up. You keep going. Over time you no longer fall.
It’s like when you’re learning to ride a bike. You start with training wheels. Then you take the training wheels off and learn without them. You fall many times. Eventually you no longer fall.
The scrapes, bumps and bruises heal. But all those scrapes, bumps and bruises help you learn. Help you get better. You experience failure. You suck at first.
I think back to the first sale I made at the age of 18. It was such a struggle for me that my first clients actually helped me complete the applications for them. I tried my best but it was all wrong. At first, I sucked. But I learned and continued to improve.
The first time I tried yoga, I couldn’t stand on one leg or even bend down to touch my ankles much less my toes. It was such a struggle for me that I spent the next evening on the couch. I was so sore that I felt like I was hit by a vehicle. At first, I sucked. Now I’m asked to instruct yoga classes.
When I started to write I had no idea what I was doing. I never took a writing class. I made many mistakes. I know because I went back and looked. My writing at the beginning sucked.
Although we age, how we learn to do things doesn’t change. No matter what it is. We have to fall, fail and suck at something first. It’s not embarrassing just because you’re no longer a kid. It’s how you become better and find eventual success at something. Give yourself permission to suck.
The Coffee Table ☕
When you talk about falling and getting back up, I always think of this video. It has become one of the most popular videos on Twitter. I saw it courtesy of Vala Afshar.
Morgan Housel wrote a phenomenal post entitled Everything You Can’t Have. “Nothing is as desired as the thing you want but can’t have.” Morgan writes about always pursuing what’s next and the constant want of more.
This week Nick Maggiulli who’s work I’ve shared before on The Coffee Table, saw his book Just Keep Buying surpass 50,000 copies sold. It’s well deserved. I read it right after it came out and this is a great personal finance book. Be sure to check it out if you haven’t. Congrats Nick!
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