Seven years ago when we had our first child, I was in the middle of opening another office by taking on additional clients and hiring another team of people. I knew our daughter was on the way and had purposely setup things to be done well in advance of her being born. Well things don’t always work out exactly as you plan.
Certain things were delayed in opening and our daughter decided that she wanted to be born earlier than expected. During the first few days of her being at home, I was still trying to get things finished up with the expansion. Between feedings, while my daughter and wife slept, I was up with what it seemed like one eye open setting up this or finalizing that.
Within that first week I was able to get everything done and was able to relax. But those first few days my stress and anxiety levels were off the charts. Talk about fear of the unknown! One of life’s biggest events happened in having a child. Something that nobody can fully be prepared for or really have any idea what’s to be expected. Then on top of that, I was expanding my business for the first time. Giant events both personally and professionally.
Being a parent, and raising a family, while also trying to run a business or focusing on your career is one of life’s hardest juggling acts. They’ve always said that parenting is a learn as you go and figure it out in the moment. That is 100% correct. There is no playbook or instructions.
Like in business how you grow and improve is through experience, practice, trial and error. Parenting is the same way. This picture always sticks in the back of my mind with anything I’m trying to learn or improve upon.
After our first child and my first business expansion we were better equipped for the next business expansion and our second child. Why? We learned from the mistakes and gained lessons from the first time around. It’s how you learn. It’s how you become better.
What exactly have I learned? What do I continue to learn from my mistakes in juggling parenting, raising a family and running my businesses?
Vacations. Family vacations aren’t always for your enjoyment, they’re for your kids enjoyment. Take them on memorable trips that they’ll enjoy for the age they’re in now. As they age you’ll transition from kid centered vacations to more adult centered vacations soon enough. Cram in as many laughable, fun and memorable family vacations as you can. They aren’t this age again. Life is a series of stages. Enjoy the current as the next will come soon enough.
Family nights out. One of our greatest pleasures is hopping in the vehicle and taking a drive to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner. Our kids now have their favorite restaurants or what cuisine they would like to go eat. What tips the scale for them is usually where the most memorable dessert is from. Traveling to experience this has provided so many memories. The interactions with the other random guests as well as the stories we get to share and hear with the servers and restaurant teams are so interesting.
As a family we will discuss what we want to do on days the kids have off school or over the upcoming weekend. They pick and we plan what we want to do as a family. You can sense the excitement because we all have an input what we do. Craft experiences for your family. It could be going to the playground, family bike ride, trip to the mall, visiting the beach/swimming, meet up with their friends and their parents, or any of the child centered venues and activities around. Research, brainstorm and imagine all the fun you can have.
Who wouldn’t enjoy this? Work, I just totally forgot all about it.
When kids are asleep. People ask me how I get done all that I do. Running my business, writing my book and writing Spilled Coffee. I’m writing this piece while the kids are asleep. I wrote my book over time while my kids slept. I workout in the early mornings while they sleep. Having a schedule like this allows me to maximize the time with them while they’re awake. It allows me to spend weekends with them and not have my mind and focus on other things. If it hasn’t been done before they are up, it will get done when they’re asleep.
Setting work and personal hours. Are you planning your life around your work or your family? Your schedule has to have a balance of time for your work hours and your personal hours. While in your working hours you need to get the work done that needs to be done. This makes the time away from work more enjoyable. During your personal hours be present and unplugged from work. The focus at that time should not be on work.
It’s all about balance. Where is the line from providing a good life for your family to self-serving greed? The definition of success can vary from one to another. But there is a line from providing a good life for you and your family and where making more money and climbing the corporate ladder at work becomes greed. Maintaining a personal and professional life balance is true success.
If you don’t think you’re being balanced take a step back and evaluate your day-to-day life and what you’re doing. If that doesn’t make it clear, ask your spouse.
Prioritize. Can what you’re doing right now wait? Could you get it done tonight by staying up later or getting up earlier? Is someone else able to do it for you or help you complete it? If your priority is to get to your kids sporting event then that’s what your priority should be. How do I work my day and what I need to get done around that sporting event? Once you know your priority, it’s up to you to find a way to make it happen.
Destress. With kids at times it feels like everyday another strand of grey hair develops. This could also be said for running a business or dealing with employees. Finding ways to relax and unwind is vital. Whether it’s a hobby you enjoy, exercise of some sort like yoga, running, weight training or biking. Some days it can be as simple as a walk or sitting outside to just think.
In combination with proper exercise, maintaining proper eating habits drastically helps manage and cut down on the stress. I’ve recently adjusted my diet and it’s made a huge difference in how I feel. What we put into our body isn’t watched nearly enough.
The only obstacle is you. Take a time consuming habit and repurpose that time to focus on your most important goals and priorities. It could be watching TV, social media time or playing video games. Use that time to be more productive at other things; family, career, starting a new business, attacking a goal or whatever it is you keep putting off. You have the time. It’s just up to you with how you’re using it. This is why excuses don’t fly. The only thing stopping what you want to do is you. You are the only obstacle.
The Coffee Table ☕
I have said in the past how much I enjoyed The Bear. Season 2 just came out and it was outstanding. I loved the first season but the second season is even better. If you like food and Chicago I don’t know how you haven’t watched it. It’s on Hulu and this is my favorite show going.
In the spirit of grilling season, I have to share how pleased my wife and I have been with our grill. We’ve had a Weber Genesis for four years now. The current model version of ours is the Weber Genesis S-435. When we first bought this I bought the liquid propane model by mistake. We had to sell that and get a natural gas version. Our home was designed to have a natural gas line ran out to the patio for a grill hookup. Such an idea that was! No more changing out propane cylinders or running out of fuel mid-grilling. We always can turn it on and this grill has consistently cooked things to perfection. It has also sat outside year-round through the Wisconsin winters with no cover on and it looks like the day it was delivered. Very happy with it!
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